Links for the Day (Monday, March 29th)

1. Apple boycotts Fox News because of Glenn Beck. There's a joke here somewhere about the invisible hand of the free market. I think it just smacked him.

["More than 200 companies have joined a boycott of Beck's program, making it difficult for Fox to sell ads,' the Washington Post reports. 'The time has instead been sold to smaller firms offering such products as Kaopectate, Carbonite, 1-800-PetMeds."]

***

2. 'Infections Founds': Inside the great scareware scam. This was part of the series of blows that crippled my last computer. I didn't fall for it, but those less likely to notice the deception shouldn't be allowed to, either. Read, circulate, and repeat.

["Woerner was smart enough to spot the ruse. This was not a genuine security scan. It was nothing more than an animation designed to dupe the unsuspecting computer user into shelling out $40 or so for software to combat a security problem where none existed."]

***

3. Godfrey Chesire on Close-Up. The House Next Door reprints the 1999 essay from the New York Press on one of the great works of the cinema (if I were to assemble a top ten of the 90s, it would probably make the cut), due out on Criterion DVD and Blu-ray this June 22nd.

["The film's remarkable final sequence begins as Sabzian is released from prison. As he emerges from the gates, he is met by Mohsen Makhmalbaf, and breaks down weeping. Kiarostami's camera observes the scene from inside a van some distance away; the hidden mic Makhmalbaf wears breaks up, providing fragmentary sound throughout. Then Makhmalbaf takes Sabzian on his motorcycle and sets off through the Tehran traffic; the theme music of Kiarostami's The Traveler comes in. The two men stop to buy flowers. They are heading for the Ahankhah house—and the epiphanic meeting that ends the film—yet the most exultant image of all is simply the director and his admirer pressed together on the motorbike, removed from suffering and indignity, united, for once, in friendship and art."]

***

4. Smith slams critics over bad reviews. I haven't seen the movie, and am thoroughly mixed on Kevin Smith's previous work (love some, like some, hate some), but that he likens his own movie to a "retarded kid" must count as some kind of modesty. More here. A word to the writer/director: some of us can be ruthless cynics (there have been reviews I've regretted writing for being too harsh and judgmental, and I'm the first to call out some of my peers), but some of us do pay for the movies we review. Just saying.

["Writing a nasty review for Cop Out is akin to bullying a retarded kid. All you've done is make fun of something that wasn't doing you any harm and wanted only to give some cats some fun laughs."]

***

5. Armond White and the Greenberg Problem. Todd Detmold addresses Noah Baumbach's film and the surrounding controversy, with far more levelheaded results. Also see Walter Chaw's take on the madness.

["To view his work as a whole, you might say Baumbach's thesis is 'Assholes are people, too.' The challenge of his films, and some (The Squid and the Whale) are more successful at this than others (Margot at the Wedding), is in engendering sympathy for a jerk. To dismiss the entire body of work as a lionization of anti-social behavior and a series of love letters to a bunch of pricks is, well, dismissive."]

***

Quote of the Day: "Jewish fun fact: If you celebrate Passover on top of an overpass, you go back in time." - Conan O'Brien

***

Image of the Day (click to enlarge): Ali Arikan is working with a friend on a comic strip called Pretentio. By the looks of it, I'm already sold on the first bound volume.

***

Video of the Day: Matt Zoller Seitz's incisive essay for The L Magazine on Spike Lee's 1989 landmark Do the Right Thing. If you haven't seen the movie yet, get off your ass.

Links for the Day (Sunday, March 28th)

1. Scolding G.O.P, Obama Makes 15 Recess Appointments. What he said (see video below). Free New York Times registration required.

["The move immediately deepened the divide between the Democratic president and Republicans in the Senate following a long, bruising fight over health care. Obama revealed his decision by blistering Republicans, accusing them of holding up nominees for months solely to try to score a political advantage on him. 'I simply cannot allow partisan politics to stand in the way of the basic functioning of government.'"]

***

2. Seven Classic "At the Movies" Moments. The Daily Beast gathers seven clips of Roger and Gene at their most opposed and animated, arguing the merits of Full Metal Jacket, David Cronenberg's Crash, and, uh, Cop and ½.

["He's trying to make a pornographic movie without pornography. He's taking the form of a pornographic movie without the function or the content. He's substituting car crashes for the usual erotic stuff in order to show the mechanism of human compulsion and obsession, and its a fascinating study of the way the mind works in connection with images that we connect with sex."]

***

3. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. The excellent film blog Are the hills going to march off? considers the underappreciated Wes Anderson film, a movie that I'm convinced once saved my life.

["The echoes of Herman Melville's Moby Dick are never over-pronounced; instead Anderson and screenwriter Noah Baumbach let the film take its own unusual detours, just as the Cousteau references are not acknowledged too explicitly, allowing Zissou to become his own eccentric individual. {...} In a wry joke, he admits to only knowing about his son through an article he read about himself, introducing one of the film's thematic strands of dislodged identity..."]

***

4. The Ravages of Tribalism (I): Introduction. The first in an older series by invaluable political blogger Arthur Silber, one with immediate implications to our own historical moment.

["...politics is only a symptom of a more fundamental condition. Unless we address these more fundamental concerns, the symptom will never be altered in a lasting way. Yet we (and I) spend so much time on political matters because politics affects our lives so dramatically and with such immediacy. Because politics has the power to alter our lives so profoundly and, far too frequently, even to end them, some of us fiercely resist the especially destructive aspects of its operations. Yet this will never be enough by itself, as history, including our recent history and ongoing events, prove repeatedly."]

***

5. Tell the Republican Party to STOP Inciting Tea Party Racism!. Hear, hear. 'Nuff said.

["The Republican Party has become so controlled by the right-wing extremist Tea Party movement that there's almost nothing that the Tea Party Patriots can do or say that Republican Senators and Congress Members will not defend."]

***

Image of the Day (click to enlarge): Opus, you are missed.

***

Videos of the Day: Hat tips to Dan Jardine and Tom Tomorrow, respectively. For the first time, I can call myself a fan of Bill Maher (which is to say, I forgive you for Religulous). The second video achieves the not-insubstantial task of cramming an entire season's worth of Curb Your Enthusiasm awkwardness, and then some, into ten minutes. Alcohol is advised.

Links for the Day (Wednesday, March 24th)

Less an attempt on my part to emulate the former mainstay posts at The House Next Door (although that it is, to an extent-- just look at the title!) than simply my feeling the need to offer more routine fare here, here's what may or may not be the first of many more mini-collections to come, personalized from yours truly's online stomping grounds. Thank Ebert and his tweets, but also thank my inability to not click on whatever sounds even remotely interesting.

1. Michael Bay and James Cameron Skeptical Of 3D Conversions: "The Jury is Out" -- Transformers 2 convinced me that Bay is a director to watch, and watch closely (not that I saw it right away, and yes, I'm serious, and yes, I'll be elaborating on this batshit crazy 180 on my part not too far down the road). His words here reinforce the notion that he is - or has become - far more of an artist than we gave him credit for.

2. Found: 90% of the distant Universe -- For you space junkies out there (I truly hate to think that anyone could not be; what better way to contemplate the God concept than to imagine the vastness beyond our world?), turns out the nearby-infinite is more packed than previously thought. My God, it's full of stars.

3. University of Ottawa's letter to Ann Coulter -- As it was addressed to one of the ten or twelve worst people currently alive, this was far more exhibiting of restraint than actually necessary.

4. In Health Bill, Obama Attacks Wealth Inequality -- I've been meaning to rewatch Bulworth for some time. Now seems the perfect moment. "Obscenity?" (see video below)

5. Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated -- In case it wasn't obvious to anyone yet, zombies are something of a big deal to me. Ditto Romero, with heavy emphasis on this film. Thus, I'm currently jumping out of my skin with excitement at this project.

Happy (Belated) 100th, Mr. Kurosawa!

Click through the image above for my review of Criterion's re-release of the Japanese master's seminal Yojimbo. His sequel/follow-up Sanjuro can be found here.

Go, Jon, Go

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
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www.thedailyshow.com
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Afghan Star

Regardless of the ignorant "shut up and sing" antics often charged at artists and performers bold enough to utilize their craft beyond the mental junk food modern society often views it as, music has always served the dual, often coexisting functions of both self-expression and sociopolitical discourse, a truth that comes to gripping light in the revered documentary Afghan Star. After the Taliban government was overthrown in 2001, independent television broadcasts became a cultural mainstay, while the lifted bans in Afghanistan on music, dancing and singing opened the gates for the nation's own titular American Idol imitation, something that proved to be the first experience with basic democracy for many citizens. On one hand demonstrating the uplifting possibilities of pop experience to unite a people otherwise divided by background and region (as producer and host Daoud Sediqi eloquently phrases it, he wants to replace weapons with music), Afghan Star also exhibits the ugliness that often arises from introducing modernity to regressive culture. In her final, post-ejection performance (as is customary for those voted off the show every week), the young and openly progressive female contestant Setara removes her head-wrap and dances in what would appear to most western viewers to be plain fashion, allowing her hair and her hips the freedom that Islamic law forbids, and before long, her fans have turned on her and death threats become a commonality. Director Havana Marking's observant eye attempts to straddle both social observations (what does this mean to the culture and people of Afghanistan?) and audience-friendly drama (who will win?), and while the result falls slightly further to the latter side than is preferred by this particular critic, the insights offered are aplenty and worth chewing on. For once, the McDonald's-like spreading of American culture abroad seems to have actually been a good thing.

Directed by: Havana Marking Featuring: Habib Amiri, Setara Hussainzada, Rafi Naabzada, Lima Sahar, Hameed Sakhizada, Massoud Sanjer, Daoud Sediqi, Tahir Shaqi, Fazl Had 2009, NR, 93 minutes

2010 Viewing Log

Inspired, in part, by Vadim Rizov's personal website (the latest of which I am in complete awe of), I've decided to return to this trend, one I attempted several years back at my old blog A Film Odyssey (Christ do I hate that name in hindsight) but never managed to follow through on a regular basis. This year's log will begin on March 8th, as that is the most recent date I can accurately pinpoint what I watched and where.

TEMPLATE:
(Date) Title (Director, Year) ~ Format/Location of Screening ~ Rating

KEY:
/Title/ = repeat viewing
^ = partial viewing
*Person's name = viewed with audio commentary
tvXX = television episode viewing
sXX = short viewing

59. (Jul. 11) The A-Team (Joe Carnahan) ~ Rave Promenade, Center Valley, PA ~ ***

While it fails - even as an apples and oranges comparison - to rise to the same instant classic status as Carnahan's debut film Narc, The A-Team is about as streamlined and earnest a bit of mainstream throwback entertainment as one can expect to find, jettisoning all but the most basic elements of plot and characterization so as to employ a go-for-broke rambunctiousness of cigar-chomping glee and smartass smirk, a major improvement over the vacuous shenanigans of Smokin' Aces. I've never seen the show but, as presented here, one doesn't have to have in order to present the archetypal action stars kicking ass in the name of truth and justice, even when such isn't endorsed by their leaders or even their country. The hyper-kinetic camerawork often does more harm than good, but the chemistry of the cast is so savory as to easily overcome even some basic levels of action editing incompetence. Maybe this summer at the movies won't be so bad after all.
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May 20 - July 10...Life too busy, didn't even attempt to keep track of this stuff.
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58. (May 19) Gamer (Nevaldine/Taylor, 2009) ~ DVD ~ ***

Love how the second-half downgrade makes the satirical elements that much more potent. These guys are the real thing.
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57. (May 18) /The African Queen/ (John Huston, 1951) ~ Blu-ray ~ ****

This movie makes me unreasonably happy.
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56. (May 16) Tetro (Francis Ford Coppola, 2009) ~ DVD ~ ****
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36-55. (Apr. 24-May 15) Lost track for a bit. Whoops.

/2001: A Space Odyssey/^ (Stanley Kubrick, 1968) ~ DVD ~ ****
Alice in Wonderland (Tim Burton, 2010) ~ Roxy Theater, Northampton, PA ~ *½
/Batman Begins/ (Christopher Nolan, 2005) ~ DVD ~ **½
/Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan/^ (Larry Charles, 2006) ~ DVD ~ **½
/Casino Royale/ (Martin Campbell, 2006) ~ DVD ~ ***½
/Fantastic Mr. Fox/^ (Wes Anderson, 2009) ~ DVD ~ ***½
Hot Tub Time Machine (Steve Pink, 2010) ~ Rave Promenade, Center Valley, PA ~ ***
/The Incredibles/ (Brad Bird, 2004) ~ DVD ~ ***½
Kick Ass (Matthew Vaughn, 2010) ~ Rave Promenade, Center Valley, PA ~ **
The Loveless (Kathryn Bigelow, 1982) ~ DVD ~ ***½
/The New World/ (Terrence Malick, 2005) ~ DVD ~ ****
/North by Northwest/ (Alfred Hitchcock, 1959) ~ DVD ~ ****
/Ratatouille/ (Brad Bird, 2007) ~ DVD ~ ****
/Speed Racer/ (Larry Wachowski and Andy Wachowski, 2008) ~ DVD ~ ****
/Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith/ (George Lucas, 2005) ~ DVD ~ ***½
/The Terminator/^ (James Cameron, 1984) ~ DVD ~ ****
/Terminator 2: Judgment Day/^ (James Cameron, 1991) ~ DVD ~ ***½
/Up/ (Pete Doctor, 2009) ~ DVD ~ ***½
/Vertigo/ (Alfred Hitchcock, 1958) ~ DVD ~ ****
/WALL-E/ (Andrew Stanton, 2008) ~ DVD ~ ****
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35. (Apr. 23) The Back-up Plan (Alan Poul, 2010) ~ AMC Neshaminy, Philadelphia, PA ~ *
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34. (Apr. 22) Chloe (Atom Egoyan, 2010) ~ 19th St. Theater, Allentown, PA ~ **½
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33. (Apr. 21) /Avatar/^ (James Cameron, 2009) ~ Blu-ray ~ ***

So this is the movie the world went batshit crazy for. Finally able to appreciate the details abound, which work dramatically more than viscerally, but it's still a wild ride. Sorry James, but to hell with 3D; pure, simple storytelling is more thrilling than any number of flying objects could possibly be (though I am tickled in hindsight that the first major 3D "gag" is dirt being thrown at the audience). Silly, knows it, and is better for it. Stephen Lang is supreme, even as he appears ready to burst into laughter after most of his line readings (the cut after "Pandora will shit you out with zero warning" seems timed to cover up his loss of composure).
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32. (Apr. 18) /Public Enemies/^ (Michael Mann, 2009) ~ Blu-ray ~ ***½

This one just gets better with repeat viewings, and feels like the perfect yin-yang companion to Miami Vice.
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31. (Apr. 9) Heavenly Creatures^ (Peter Jackson, 1994) ~ DVD ~ ***½
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30. (Apr. 5) The Double Life of Veronique (Krzysztof Kieślowski, 1991) ~ DVD ~ ****

Ethereal, haunting, and so much more. Words fail me. I want to live in this movie.
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29. (Apr. 5) Last Year at Marienbad (Alain Resnais, 1961) ~ Blu-ray ~ ****

The DVD menu was enough to sell me; everything else was bliss. This one needs to be seen at least three times by everyone who cares about movies, methinks.
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28. (Apr. 4) /Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans/^ (Werner Herzog, 2009) ~ Blu-ray ~ ***

Minor stuff for the master for sure, but still plenty of fun; look at it less for ecstatic truth than for its freakish grooves. Yes, fish do have dreams.
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27. (Apr. 3) /The Last Temptation of Christ/^ (Martin Scorsese, 1988) ~ DVD ~ ****
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26. (Apr. 2) Why Did I Get Married Too? (Tyler Perry, 2010) ~ AMC Neshaminy, Philadelphia, PA ~ **
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25. (Apr. 1) The Eclipse (Conor McPherson, 2009) ~ DVD screener ~ ***
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24. (Mar. 30) Clash of the Titans (Desmond Davis, 1981) ~ Netflix instant view ~ **

It speaks to the magic of Ray Harryhausen's stop-motion craft that this tonally unstable romp through Greek mythology works half as well as it does. The effects master's swan song is often remembered as his finest hour, and Perseus's confrontation with the slithering Medusa is certainly high on the list of great effects sequences of the cinema (but give me It Came from Beneath the Sea instead at the end of the day). Such moments are diamonds in the rubble; Clash barely treads water on the not inconsiderable conviction of its storytellers, which itself barely holds together the piecemeal production and fleetingly emotive, largely unsure performances. Davis attempts to keep the proceedings light on their proverbial feet, but the effect is forced and uncertain; he trips constantly. Less Burgess, more Bubo.
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23. (Mar. 29) Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel^ (Betty Thomas, 2009) ~ DVD ~ **

The original had an innocence about it that I kind of dug, even if it was obviously made with dollars sign eyes. This one is more so, but still manages to be both sweet and morally sound (the brotherly tension between Alvin and Simon is legit, even if the popularity contest circumstances are cliché) despite some moments of irresponsible slapstick (under no circumstances is a purportedly funny bit of a wheelchair-bound person falling down the stairs fit for a kids film). The surreal implications are many: does the initial lack of clothing on the Chipettes constitute nudity? And underage, at that?
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22. (Mar. 28) Armored^ (Nimród Antal, 2009) ~ Blu-ray ~ ***

(Note: continued from March 15th.) Well, crap. The final act reveals the near-crippling fact that James V. Simpson's screenplay has run out of creative energy, and unlike John Carpenter's Assault on Precinct 13, Armored doesn't root itself deeply enough in the mechanics of human behavior to thematically overcome what is otherwise a pedantic action movie resolution. Still, not bad in the slightest for a first-time writer-- don't give up! The film entire remains solid even if one can't help but be disappointed when something so breathless ends on a relatively underwhelming note; Armored fizzles at the moment of impact. Top-notch direction saves the day (favorite shot: Matt Dillon's furious, rear view glare), and here's looking forward to Antal's work with Robert Rodriguez on the upcoming Predators.
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21. (Mar. 28) Halloween II*Rob Zombie (Rob Zombie, 2009) ~ DVD ~ ***½
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20. (Mar. 27) How to Train Your Dragon (Dean DeBlois and Chris Sanders, 2010) ~ AMC Neshaminy, Philadelphia, PA ~ ***

First the sterling Kung Fu Panda, now this: DreamWorks can once again show its face in the world of respectable animation (don't hold your breath, though, as Shrek Forever After is just around the corner). Coming from the same writer/directors of Disney's last great hand-drawn effort, the undervalued Lilo & Stitch, How to Train Your Dragon is nearly as exciting and heartfelt an effort. A young Viking, Hiccup (Jay Baruchel), is unable to slay the titular beasts like the rest of his clan, his hesitance at such allowing for a cease fire (of sorts) that gives way to understanding and, ultimately, alliance-- the beasts aren't violent by nature, just prone to self-defense when provoked. Screw 3D, as this is thrilling spectacle in the good old-fashioned second dimension. The voice acting sidesteps celebrity reliance (as father figure Stoick, Gerard Butler is recognizably pitch perfect) while the thoughtful designs express characterization without regressing into cartoonish simplicity. To older eyes, the film lays it on thick, but artfully so, ultimately becoming a semi-brilliant take on the timeless need for bipartisan understanding (but not without genuine, personal sacrifice). Welcome to the Obama era.
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19. (Mar. 27) Greenberg (Noah Baumbach, 2010) ~ AMC Neshaminy, Philadelphia, PA ~ ***

In a way, this is more of the same from director Baumbach, but it's terrain he knows well, and is certainly a step (or three) up from the forced, clunky poeticism of Margot at the Wedding. The writing and direction is more free-flow here, less articulate than The Squid and the Whale, but then, so too is Ben Stiller's titular fortysomething invert, a man so caught up in his inability to live outside his own head that basic daily functions prove routinely insurmountable. In short: the guy's an asshole, but its not his fault, and the film is alternately, deliberately awkward and revealing into his fragile, damanged psyche (imagine a less-funny, more-neurotic Larry David), striking a quotidian balance between unvarnished realism and understated poeticism. Stiller is a tour de force, a should-be Oscar contender like Jeff Daniels before him; the final cut leaves a lingering sweetness of better things to come.
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18. (Mar. 26) The Ghost Writer (Roman Polanski, 2010) ~ Hiway Theatre, Jenkintown, PA ~ ***½

Like Polanski's masterpiece Chinatown, The Ghost Writer finds the filmmaker similarly working the ropes of moment-to-moment entertainment as expertly and fully as he does those of his material's dark, thematic underbelly. Ewan McGregor is the titular, appropriately nameless character given the thankless (save for the paycheck) job of reworking, on a tight schedule, an infamous political figure's memoirs into something fit to sell. Accusations of illegal torture and the ensuing media fury plague his employer (Pierce Brosnan), while revelations regarding his previous, now dead (suicide? accident? murder?) predecessor open the doors to a maze partly within his grasp even as it stands beyond his immediate control. A more substantive look at the corruptive nature of politics than the theoretically-bound JFK; Polanski's frame is alive with dread, menace, and intrigue. For your consideration, Oscar: put those ten nominations to good use.
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17. (Mar. 25) The Crazies (Breck Eisner, 2010) ~ AMC Franklin Mills, Philadelphia, PA ~ **½

Able diversion that never quite transcends the mechanics of its genre trappings; more visceral than the Romero original, and totally drops the subdued slapstick approach to government bumblefuckery. Timothy Olyphant is, and always will be, the man (the knife, holy hell, the knife!). Thoroughly exciting beat for beat, but the vision of apocalypse is only almost fully realized (and is never as furiously sustained as 28 Weeks Later), while the final, literal note of "it's happening again" feels less fated than it suggests tacked-on cynicism. Unrelated note: I missed the end credits/post end credits sequence in my failed attempt to catch up with and confront a disruptive patron at my screening (DVD second viewing, here we come). People with cell phones should be booted from the theater, once as a warning before being banned for life. Additionally, those who also play with large keychains and noisy food wrappers should be shot with bean bags in their non-vital torso sections.
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16. (Mar. 25) The Crazies (George A. Romero, 1973) ~ DVD ~ ***
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15. (Mar. 21) /Sanjuro/^*Stephen Prince (Akira Kurosawa, 1962) ~ Blu-ray ~ ***
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14. (Mar. 21) New Moon^ (Chris Weitz, 2009) ~ DVD ~ *

Wow, this is silly, but also kind of scary, in a "what kind of effect is this having on the current generation?" sort of way. Celibacy looks good compared to horniness this facile.
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13. (Mar. 20) /Yojimbo/*Stephen Prince (Akira Kurosawa, 1961) ~ Blu-ray ~ ****
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12. (Mar. 19) /Shutter Island/ (Martin Scorsese, 2010) ~ Carmike 16, Allentown, PA ~ ***½

Much better the second time, but that's incidental in this case (I may enforce a two-viewings-required rule on myself before proper reviews). Boils like a dense stew, and makes most recent "mind" thrillers look petty for their lack of emotional interest. DiCaprio, for possibly the first time in his career, looks like he could actually kill someone. I hope this is the sign of similarly messy, personal projects to come, and more Williams in our cinematic lexicon. Imperfect in parts but a glorious, visually/emotionally rigorous whole, bolstered by the basso profundo strokes of the score and a sumptuous use of color. Marty, you still got it. Love it, especially (1) the flickering flames and (2) that final shot; birds hovering like waning sanity, and a stage right entrance timed to literally jump off the screen.
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11. (Mar. 19) /Sanjuro/ (Akira Kurosawa, 1962) ~ Blu-ray ~ ***½
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10. (Mar. 18) /Yojimbo/ (Akira Kurosawa, 1961) ~ Blu-ray ~ ****

A preview of my upcoming review of the Criterion release: "I haven't been this satisfied with a home viewing experience since I popped my first DVD into a player nine years ago." Yeah, it's pretty awesome.
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9. (Mar. 18) /Fantastic Mr. Fox/^ (Wes Anderson, 2009) ~ Blu-ray ~ ****

I can't wait to own this beauty.
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8. (Mar. 17) Afghan Star (Havana Marking, 2009) ~ DVD screener ~ ***
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7. (Mar. 16) /Ponyo/^ (Hayao Miyazaki, 2008) ~ Blu-ray ~ ***

Simple, and simply beautiful. I still have to sit down to the original, unDisneyfied (is that a word?) version of the film; the end credits, what with the autotuned musical performance by Frankie Jonas and Noah Cyrus (mall spawn), should count as a minor WMD.
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6. (Mar. 16) Old Dogs^ (Walt Becker, 2009) ~ Blu-ray ~ ½*

Its as bad as they say, maybe worse. If I'm ever strapped down and forced to endure the entirety, Clockwork Orange-style, I'll let you know. Cancer is funnier than this, and I say that from personal experience.
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5. (Mar. 15) Armored^ (Nimród Antal, 2009) ~ Blu-ray ~ ***

Tight genre picture, suggesting the works of John Carpenter bearing the kind of absolute influence on the modern action picture as they rightfully should. Matt Dillon continues to astonish me in his ability to lend full conviction to scummy roles, although Armored impresses in its refusal to simplify notions of villains and heroes. Made it to the one-hour mark before daily duties beckoned; I can't wait to see how it ends.
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4. (Mar. 14) Halloween II [Director's cut] (Rob Zombie, 2009) ~ Blu-ray ~ ***½
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3. (Mar. 12) Prodigal Sons^ (Kimberly Reed, 2010) ~ DVD screener ~ ***
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2. (Mar. 8) /Inglourious Basterds/ (Quentin Tarantino, 2009) ~ Landmark's Sunshine Cinema, NYC ~ ****
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1. (Mar. 8) The Secret of Kells (Tomm Moore, 2010) ~ IFC Center, NYC ~ ***

One Step Forward...

What ground Oscar managed to cover this past year in terms of recognizing actual cinematic artistry (only Avatar's win for cinematography counts as an abomination in my book, and I'm practically giddy that Up in the Air went home empty-handed) they more than lost in this hypocritical move. I was halfway to drunk and thus not too particularly attentive at the time this award was handed out, and so all I remember is that The Cove indeed won for Best Documentary and that much whooping and hollering ensued. I'm unfortunately unable to find a longer clip in which we see the director and company getting ushered offstage prematurely (they have time for an embarrassing "horror" montage hosted by the Twilight peeps but not this?), but below you'll see a cutaway emphasizing the Academy's refusal of true support for the cause (proving that they don't really give a shit about anything past their own razzle dazzle), followed by the eloquent, thoughtful, and -- unlike the majority of others given that night, not boring -- speech that Louie Psihoyos would have given, given the opportunity.





And seriously, Roger, what's up with your retracted support for this movie? You're not getting off the hook that easily.

I know what it is to be young...

Dear Rotten Tomatoes,

Your "show" is an abomination. If you can't change it into something that doesn't make anyone not obsessed with snarky sound bytes and Hot Topic not want to drive an icepick into their brain and shuffle off this mortal coil, please terminate it outright. We're supposed to be better than FOX news and the like, and not just by a little. By a lot. Please don't pander to idiots.

Sincerely,

Rob

xoxo

Best of the Aughts, final

Now that Bigelow has put Cameron in his rightful place and the rest of the world is moving on with the year and decade that was, I've decided that it's high time I post this and get it over with. As some may remember, I'd hoped to make a semi-big thing about this, going in depth on each title and counting down to number one, drumrolls and all. Life, as it so often does, got in the way, but I don't mind so much. I'm happier with my list now, having poured over, shuffled and expanded it a bit more. Time and reflection has shown me where my true allegiances lie.

Why 35 36 slots? No concrete reason-- it was the point at which I felt comfortable cutting it off. To quote Mel Brooks: "I have thousands of favorite movies." Out of the 100+ of the past ten years I feel I couldn't live without, these are the cream of the cream of the crop.

Bear in mind that this isn't my attempt at any sort of objectivity, not that (1) true objectivity is actually possible or (2) that it would look that much different if I did attempt objectivity; quality and enjoyment are usually synonymous in my mind. If I did attempt such an endeavor, I could only see it possibly affecting the order of my top three, all of which are works of rapturous artistic perfection to these eyes and could easily fall into any of those spots depending on everything from the last thing I ate to the day of the week. I don't want to split hairs. #3 and #24 are cheats if you do, but I'm not about to dismiss profundity just because it originally played on a different sized screen and in episodes instead of a single feature length. Enjoy.

BEST OF THE AUGHTS

36. Waking Life (Richard Linklater, 2001)
35. The Fountain (Darren Aronofsky, 2006)
34. Cast Away (Robert Zemeckis, 2000)
33. Revolver [American release] (Guy Ritchie, 2005)
32. Death Proof [Grindhouse and extended cuts] (Quentin Tarantino, 2007)
31. Die große Stille/Into Great Silence (Philip Gröning, 2005)
30. Munich (Steven Spielberg, 2005)
29. Bad Santa [R-rated theatrical cut] (Terry Zwigoff, 2003)
28. Der Untergang/Downfall (Oliver Hirschbiegel, 2004)
27. 35 Rhums/35 Shots of Rum (Claire Denis, 2008)
26. Inland Empire (David Lynch, 2006)
25. Mysterious Skin (Gregg Araki, 2004)
24. Curb Your Enthusiasm (Larry David, 2000-present)
23. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring [Extended cut] (Peter Jackson, 2002)
22. The Wild Blue Yonder (Werner Herzog, 2005)
21. Brokeback Mountain (Ang Lee, 2005)
20. I'll Sleep When I'm Dead (Mike Hodges, 2004)
19. A Prairie Home Companion (Robert Altman, 2006)
18. Gangs of New York (Martin Scorsese, 2002)
17. Inglourious Basterds (Quentin Tarantino, 2009)
16. Zodiac (David Fincher, 2007)
15. Before Sunset (Richard Linklater, 2004)
14. Speed Racer (Larry Wachowski and Andy Wachowski, 2008)
13. There Will Be Blood (Paul Thomas Anderson, 2007)
12. Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters (Matt Maiellaro and Dave Willis, 2007)
11. 25th Hour (Spike Lee, 2002)
10. Two Lovers (James Gray, 2009)
9. Lost in Translation (Sofia Coppola, 2003)
8. Wendy and Lucy (Kelly Reichardt, 2008)
7. A.I. Artificial Intelligence (Steven Spielberg, 2001)
6. Mulholland Dr. (David Lynch, 2001)
5. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (Wes Anderson, 2004)
4. Fa yeung nin wa/In the Mood for Love (Wong Kar-wai, 2000)
3. Deadwood (David Milch, 2004-2006)
2. The New World [Theatrical and extended cuts] (Terrence Malick, 2005/2008)
1. Miami Vice [R-rated theatrical cut] (Michael Mann, 2006)

Armond + Noah + Hat + Ring

Amidst what is really all a bit of silliness, I think Vadim Rizov covers the matter most eloquently and tastefully. Seeing as it's been a long and winding road that got me to where I am today - a place where whatever hateful, backwards thing Armond says of late doesn't bother me because I don't even grant his prose the time of day (a decision that hurt to make because on the rare occasion that he's good, he's really good [his review for W. is the last one I loved before jumping ship]) - I'll make this brief. I have to side with Noah Baumbach and company on this one because, abortion comment or not (that bit of craziness seems to have been fabricated, and I'm not surprised; the haters are often as bad as Mr. White himself in their delirium), Armond's attitude in his reviews has been unprofessional at best, and worthy of a restraining order by what would appear to be common thought. That he's going to see it in time for review now doesn't bother me much, though, because of the aforementioned choice I've made.

Don't feed the animal(s). Don't read the fucking review. Good night, good luck, the end.

UPDATE 3/11/10: So apparently, in typically bullshit-laden reactionary chickenshit manner, he did say it. Doesn't change my opinion on the matter much, in large part because it's hardly the most offensive thing to come out of his mouth in recent times.

Remember his G.I. Joe review? I won't link to it, but I will quote it: "Seeing the Eiffel Tower fall is part of loving it (which could not be said of the World Trade Center)."

So, let me get this straight: most of our current hipster filmmakers are culturally irresponsible and thus to blame for our socio-political ignorance (something I agree with in part), but the deaths of thousands can be tossed off as a parenthetical comment concerning architectural pleasures? That's OK?

You look at Armond White's work, and you see he's an asshole. I would say it to his face. And, of course, he gets praised by other assholes, because they agree with his selfish, privileged, stuck-up shenanigans. I don't need to meet him to know that. Better than meeting him, I've read his movie reviews.

Best Pic Nom Round-Up

Presented in order of cinematic quality preference. (Don't say you weren't warned.)


1. Inglourious Basterds

Like a madman running into a burning oil well with dynamite strapped to his back, Quentin Tarantino explores and complicates Dirty Dozen-style mythos with sneering wit, anarchic grace and poetic bombast to spare, stoking our visceral lust for revenge before undercutting it with his always-present, rarely-acknowledged emotional sincerity (embodied by a series of key asides in which the "villains" are granted a poignant, complicating dose of humanity). This is movies as language, as life, as war, as historical filters, and even as its most trashy, rollicking fun, it ain't easy. Acknowledging the complexity of such, Inglourious Basterds doesn't resolve or conclude the moral dilemmas posed by its cavalcade of historic impostors-- the questions it leaves behind are far more satisfying. The final chapter, "Revenge of the Giant Face", is a career best; as a whole, it's one of the greatest movies ever made. Full review here.


2. A Serious Man

Some consider the recent works of the Brothers Coen to be atheistic, but my experiences find it to be a trend of strict agnosticism - perpetual doubt and scrutiny, the longing for the impossible fruit of knowledge. So goes the plight of Larry Gopnik, whose existential dilemma stands to represent not only archetypal Jewish resilience, but the wearying spirit of the questioning soul, the mind that asks but cannot know. The Coen's savory comedic timing only deepens the all-penetrating mirror erected for our psyche; we laugh, so we may not cry. Full review here.


3. Up

Pixar's latest is as quintessential a work as yet created by the studio, their most deeply feeling, painterly vision to date, one that threw me on first viewing thanks to a key transitional moment (spoiler: the revelation that Charles Muntz is, in fact, a murderous scoundrel) that struck me as contrived and disingenuous. This is the downfall of much in the way of current movie criticism -- the rush to post something first, even if the thoughts being published aren't fully formed or explored, a pitfall into which I shall not stumble again -- and concerning this matter, Up was among the most enlightening experiences I had at the movies this year, which is to say nothing of the deep emotional reservoir it casts one into. Multiple viewings later, said moment still feels off to me (too structurally polished, it should have come more inconveniently out of left field), but in a vision this grand, it is one easily overlooked. A near-masterpiece. Original review - which I no longer stand by - here.


4. The Hurt Locker

When you get right down to it, the political is as personal as it gets, and no film this honest about the destructive forces of war (and the addictive nature of self-destruction) can be considered anything less than a profound humanitarian statement. Kathryn Bigelow's brilliant vision of 21st Century combat isn't about who is fighting who or whether or not Bush's war is just, but how we endure and, implicitly, how we take care of our soldiers in the face of the hellfire. It may be to the War on Terror what Apocalypse Now is to Vietnam, and it's almost as hallucinatory a vision. Original review here.


5. District 9

There's something terribly ironic about the success of District 9 in the year of The Lovely Bones (a film I've not yet seen), but more telling is the comparison between this and the year's other most celebrated sci-fi outing. James Cameron could learn a thing or ten from Neill Blomkamp's masterful use of minimal resources, and the fact that Avatar will almost surely win tomorrow night's Best Visual Effects award is indeed an injustice. I'm still sketchy on the generalities of the racial allegories at play, but this is some stunning cinematic invention at work, from the documentary-style approximation (the best since The Blair Witch Project) to the finely tuned performances (if the Academy had truly warmed up to the genre, Sharlto Copley would be amongst the Best Actor nominees) to the incredible detail work in virtually every frame. Screw Avatar - this is what people will think of when they talk about science fiction at the end of the aughts.


6. The Blind Side

Corny? Hell yes. Also disarmingly heartfelt, and I say that having happily had my preconceptions proven wrong, all but sneering at the advertising campaign for the film some months ago. My preferred version would lose the sitcom-esque musical accompaniment, but I suppose that such goes fittingly hand in hand with The Blind Side's broadly-pitched look at the power of selflessness in the twisted, heartless class system of capitalism. The film is obviously but expertly calculated (not my usual cup of tea by even a football field's length); Sandra Bullock's eye-opening turn cannot be denied its to-be-reckoned-with sincerity, complicating typical visions of white guilt with a powerful self-awareness of privilege and the responsibilities such incurs, while John Lee Hancock's direction is refreshingly modest in its stripped-down, everyman simplicity. The racist accusations lobbed at the film seem at best like willful misreadings, at worst insinuations that white people can't possibly want to help another "race" without disingenuous motives being at play. Onscreen or off, that hurts, but The Blind Side is nothing if not healing.


7. Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire

On paper, Precious doesn't bode well, but despite - or is it thanks to? - warts aplenty, it's an experience impossible to shake off or dismiss. From the rot-infested visuals to Mo'Nique's histrionic performance, Lee Daniels cranks everything up to eleven in this unflinching look at the existence of an overweight, abused black girl in 1987 Harlem, and while shrill often seems an applicable descriptor to the mayhem, the fetid insanity of it all seems appropriate given the circumstances. As the titular character, Gabourey Sidibe is a quiet marvel, particularly in the illuminating contrast provided by her hardened exterior and warm voiceovers. Take it as a given that Precious is a composite character and everything goes down more smoothly, while the oft-criticized dream sequences - overexposed fashion sequences run amok - are best seen as both an embodiment of her particular mindset as well as an appropriately damning critique of Western materialist values. Originally reviewed here.


8. Avatar

James Cameron's big blue wad just might be the most disgustingly topheavy Oscar contender of all time, and I say that as a full-on admirer of Titanic since day one. On paper, this should have been the most enthralling bit of new-world escapism since Star Wars. In practice, "fun" never felt so overly calculated and laborious. Even divorced from the skullfucking nightmare that is 3D, Avatar is but the shell of a movie and only the rough framework of a rollercoaster ride, a waste of some fine acting and a emotionally vacuous, storytelling void. Pandora only represents a fully-created world if you've never bothered to explore the one you already inhabit. The narrative entry point - paraplegic soldier Jake Sully, now free to run again as a big blue cat - is lazily implemented, all but screaming impatience at elements like plot and character and pathos, but perhaps most insultingly, nor is the film's visceral quotient any good. It's all been done before and better and with less resources at that; for this Terminator enthusiast, the James Cameron I knew died a long time ago. Reviewed here and here.


9. An Education

Trite is a word that regularly comes to mind regarding this cautionary tale. Ditto whitewashed, simplistic, and sexless. None of these, most of all the latter, should apply when the subject matter is that of the relationship between the sweet-sixteen schoolgirl Jenny (Carry Mulligan) and the pseudo-charming sophistico David (Peter Sarsgaard), some twenty years her elder. Excellent performances (as the romantically inclined schoolgirl, Mulligan is a revelation of yearning and nuance in a performance ten times more complex than the film that flaunts it) and technical competence can't begin to counter the infuriating manner in which this adaptation of Lynn Barber’s memoir sweeps the dirty details of its subject matter under the carpet, squashing it into gutless, feel-good tripe. Jenny's trials can't possibly begin to prepare her for the real world because An Education does not take place in/refuses to acknowledge it.


10. Up in the Air

Like a contracted virus, Up in the Air didn't sour me so much at first contact as it did in the days and weeks thereafter, as its sickening gloss and trivializing attitude towards our current employment crisis sank in like a corrosive STD. I don't know what's worse: the have-its-cake-and-eats-it-too writing (screenplay seminar-quality tactics posing as legitimate social commentary) or the trashy manner in which real employees being laid off stands as the foundation (both literally and figuratively) for a faux character study in which a greedy scoundrel gets an out-of-jail-free card for legitimate self-awakening. Juno, for all its annoyances, won me over on the basis of excellent characterizations and empathetic performances; Up in the Air is well-polished bullshit at best, manifest of nothing less than everything wrong with America today (with the singular exception of Vera Farmiga's glorious, necktie-adorned ass). Original review here.

2012 (2009): F

The end of the world seems a comparably desirable affair in the wake of the disaster that is Roland Emmerich's 2012, a work that at once replicates virtually every film previously made by the ultra-hack director and takes his fetishistic obsession with mass destruction to hysterical new levels. From the hateful Independence Day to the trashy Godzilla to the sheer embarrassment that was 10,000 BC, he's never made a remotely good bit of entertainment and 2012 just might be his Plan 9 From Outer Space, sans the aching artistic aspirations that lovingly framed the ineptitude of Ed Wood's productions. Where to begin? Less an actual narrative film than a feature-length special effects reel with enough celebrity cameos to simulate the ghost of a plot (best is Woody Harrelson, the only person on board who seems to recognize the sheer stupidity of it all, hamming it up to 11, and beyond), 2012 might be the most exploitative disaster movie ever made, a work in which obligatory human drama - disingenuously meant to justify the proceedings beyond the anti-life rah-rah of its dispassionate eye for destruction - serves little legitimate purpose beyond stretching things out to heretofore unbearable lengths. Berlin Alexanderplatz feels like a Saturday afternoon matinee compared to this.

The Earth, lambasted by damaging particles from the sun, is undergoing some major changes, and California sinking into the Pacific is just the beginning. The work of Emmerich's special effects crew is nifty indeed, but for all the ridiculous details and needle-threading thrown in to this cynical end of days (damn near half the movie is dedicated to narrowing gaps and countdowns), nothing here comes even remotely close to the duel awe/terror conjured by Steven Spielberg's great, underappreciated War of the Worlds. Even the isolated few characters we're supposed to feel for (thanks to Harald Kloser and Thomas Wander's maudlin score) are treated dispassionately, framed less like people than like pawns ready to be tossed aside at a moment's notice, necessary only for the risible final hour in which the lucky few not incinerated, drowned, or otherwise consumed by the quakes of the Earth board a series of Arks constructed in the Himalayas for the very purpose of ensuring the survival of the human race through this long-foreseen disaster. In a film that manages to outstay its welcome even before getting around to the title card, it's an epically drawn-out sequence enough to make one envious of the masses to have already met their maker.

FU, GOP, etc., ad infinitum, et al.

This shit never gets old

I think I feel compelled to post this about an average of once a year. Oh well: see the title. Speaking personally, speaking professionally, speaking as a family member, I've been in a hole for some time, and I mean this on levels both macro and micro, relatively speaking. Rough but necessary roads being traversed, this is some life-altering decision making being carried out. I've almost dug myself out. The light is at the end of the tunnel.