Disney Favorites and Such

Within the next 24 hours, I'll have succumbed to temptation and gone to the multiplex to see the 3D-retrofitted, presumably "extended" edition (I haven't verified this fact because I want it to be a surprise) of Disney's first real crack at Oscar gold, Beauty and the Beast. Released when I was six years old, it was and remains a personal favorite, even as the years have seen it transform from timeless masterpiece to a slightly less emotionally substantial but still thoroughly entertaining, engrossing experience. Until then, it remains tied (with Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds, of all things) as the film I've seen the most times theatrically (seven; bless my mother for tolerating my repeat-viewing insistence).

I've never seen the 2002 cut of the film, and while I'm apprehensive about the 3D quality (The Lion King re-release looked terrible, and in hindsight, two-and-a-half stars was overly generous on my part), my primary thought is: what the hell? I owned all manner of merchandise and paraphernalia (including a collector's card series, which I completed), and listened to the cassette tape soundtrack of the film to the breaking point. Why stop now? I could certainly use a return to my youth.

Which is a very roundabout way of making this another opportunity for a mostly pointless list. For the sake of simplicity, I've made this list traditional Disney animated exclusive, while also deliberately disincluding anything with the Pixar label, both pre- and post-Disney merger. Otherwise, Andrew Stanton, Brad Bird and company would threaten to eat up half of the slots, and I'd have had to kick a few more animated titles out for a certain David Lynch joint and one, maybe two, Jeff Bridges vehicles. (For the record, I haven't seen Song of the South yet, although there is a YouTube rip of the film waiting on my hard drive...) Post your own list. Or simply fire away.

1. Dumbo
2. Pinocchio
3. The Fox and the Hound
4. Lilo & Stitch
5. Beauty and the Beast
6. Fantasia
7. 101 Dalmatians
8. The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
9. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
10. Sleeping Beauty

2012 Capsule Log #1

Now, this is what I'm talking about. Trendy and current, yet also steeped in a smartness and sincerity becoming of its Shakespearean roots, 10 Things I Hate About You does for the silver screen what Daria did for MTV, sort of. As the too-cool-to-care dude who finds it his duty to tame the shrew, Heath Ledger is simply magical; there's no doubt he was a natural from day one. Pointed satire is mixed in moderate proportion with irony-free conflict in this subversive high school rom com, which thankfully almost completely sidesteps the off-putting calculation inherent to some of its plotting. A fine rum concoction compared to...


...this gag-inducing Four Loko misfire, which goes haywire with exaggeration and a bare minimum of return value. Calling Clueless the Citizen Kane of high school movies may be accurate, but it's a dubious designation. I've never read the Jane Austin novel Emma on which Heckerling's script is loosely based, but even amidst the onscreen chaos (as if!), the genuine intelligence lurking beneath is obvious. Pity it oversells the material to a crowd that isn't going to get (or, more to the point, appreciate) it anyway, and the result is like watching a gifted student sell out to the popular idiot crowd. The movie seems afraid to show genuine sincerity, and Paul Rudd can only pull so much of the weight. The high point is a cheeky nod to Kubrick's monolith, but it's a slog to and from.


Setting aside a handful of pulse-raising set pieces, this sequel to 2009's raucous revamp of the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle legend is the deflated yin to that film's energetic yang: excessively plotted, poorly characterized, thin as used sandpaper. Not unlike Iron Man 2 (although exceedingly more watchable), the effort to reproduce the spontaneity of the previous film's success imbues Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows with a weary tone of overexertion, with so little worth investing in that one might find themselves forgetting about the whole endeavor even as they're still watching it. Robert Downey, Jr.'s schtick has gone from chic to borderline embarrassing, while Guy Ritchie's directorial suave bangs around the empty script like pennies in a pot. Somebody get these men a script worth shooting.


Jason Reitman rebounds from the noxious Up in the Air with Young Adult, although it's the stamp of screenwriter Diablo Cody that's most evident in this biting look at grown-up responsibilities and the difficulties of giving up youthful desires after tragedy and trauma scar the body and mind. Charlize Theron is a barbed wire force to be reckoned with as Mavis Gary, a successful, semi-celebrity ghost writer whose attraction to her ex Buddy Slade (Patrick Wilson) is rekindled when she's invited to his newborn baby's naming ceremony. Balancing her character's impractical ambitions of the heart with a very real hurt that transcends the film's cultural satire (which culminates in an unfortunate speech that leaves an odious aftertaste), Theron is a tour-de-force of ping-pong emotions, contrasted almost sublimely by Patton Oswalt's turn as a hate crime victim. Smart, self-aware, and sure to be overlooked this awards season.


Once infamous for courting a round ten Oscars, now seemingly all but forgotten, Barry Levinson's gangster drama Bugsy is exhausting in all the wrong ways, suggesting less of a handsomely mounted epic period piece than it does a begrudgingly completed middle school biography paper -- all that's missing is MLA formatting. Warren Beatty is Benjamin Siegel (the name Bugsy instills him with rage, so we don't hear it often), and maybe it's due in part to the fact that his turn as the titular senator in Bulworth is my political wet dream fantasy, but I just can't believe the man as a borderline-psychotic, hairpin-trigger madman with visions of grandeur. The character study is only skin deep, and the central financially-dependent drama lacks enough thrust to sustain two plus hours running time, although Annette Bening, as Siegel's lover Virginia Hill, instills the proceedings with a sporadically volatile intensity (I'm happy to have seen the film if only to have heard her iteration of "philandering fuck"). A curious (and curiously dull) misfire.


Although bounds more digestible, the schmaltzy view of the world offered by Awakenings can now be seen as the forerunner to Robin Williams' most offensive vehicle to date, Patch Adams. Williams is Malcolm Sayer, a doctor who hasn't worked with living human patients since his schooling, now employed at a Bronx hospital at which reside numerous catatonic patients, some of whom have been completely unresponsive for several decades. A new drug may be the cure they've been waiting for. The film is empathetic and deliberately "touching" without quite triggering the gag reflex, but the script needed at least another rewrite before moving on to production, and the visual elements are Oscar-friendly bland. The reason to watch, then, is a tremendous Robert DeNiro, as Leonard Lowe, the first patient to be awoken, and the first to subsequently lose control of his body once again. Based on Oliver Sacks's memoir of the same name. Maybe life affirming, but hardly life-changing.


Sexy as Luc Besson's sleight of hand remains, his widely triumphed Nikita (aka La Femme Nikita) skimps out on the goods concerning the sexy, troubled Nikita (Anne Parillaud) herself, an amoral addict from the streets turned assassin for the French government. Part action thriller, part character examination (there isn't much to the titular female, and her void is only half as meaningfully examined as the film aims for), this stylish creation pulls this way and that, almost as unfocused as Nikita herself often is, with occasional lapses in logic that are hard to overlook in an otherwise smartly rendered film. A cool sensory indulgence, but irksomely lightweight. Pass me some Angel-A instead.

A little experiment...

These are my top 25 movies of the 1990s, as of the last time I tweaked said list some months ago. I'm currently grinding away blind spots from throughout the decade, and want to preserve this incarnation for comparative purposes several months from now. (Two that almost made the cut: The Iron Giant, and Pulp Fiction. You'll get no more from me until I'm out of the isolation chamber. Goodbye, social life!)

1. The Thin Red Line
2. Crash
3. Close-Up
4. Showgirls
5. Breaking the Waves
6. Bad Lieutenant
7. The Double Life of Veronique
8. Gremlins 2: The New Batch
9. Eyes Wide Shut
10. GoodFellas
11. Heat
12. Underground
13. The Silence of the Lambs
14. Babe: Pig in the City
15. The Last of the Mohicans
16. The Rapture
17. Groundhog Day
18. Miller's Crossing
19. Naked Lunch
20. Magnolia
21. Fight Club
22. Jackie Brown
23. The Straight Story
24. Princess Mononoke
25. The Blair Witch Project

2012 Viewing Log

This is probably the third year I've tried this. Let's see if I can sustain it for once. Presented in reverse chronological order (it's easier for me). A pair of "/" will be around the title if I've seen it before. A ^ will appear after the parenthesis for non-theatrical viewings. Shorts are treated all the same; ratings are out of four.

35. (Jan. 28) A Better Life (Chris Weitz, 2011)^ **1/2

34. (Jan. 28) Thelma & Louise (Ridley Scott, 1991)^ **1/2

33. (Jan. 28) Candyman (Bernard Rose, 1992)^ ***

32. (Jan. 28) Red Tails (Anthony Hemingway, 2012) **

31. (Jan. 27) The Iron Lady (Phyllida Lloyd, 2011)^ *

30. (Jan. 27) A Dangerous Method (David Cronenberg, 2011) ***

29. (Jan. 27) The Birdcage (Mike Nichols, 1996)^ ***

28. (Jan. 26) Reversal of Fortune (Barbet Schroeder, 1990)^ **1/2

27. (Jan. 26) The Aristocats (Wolfgang Reitherman, 1970)^ *

26. (Jan. 25) The Killer (John Woo, 1989)^ ****

25. (Jan. 24) Margaret (Kenneth Lonergan, 2011) ***1/2

24. (Jan. 24) Angels Crest (Gaby Dellal, 2011)^ **

23. (Jan. 23) Albert Nobbs (Rodrigo Garcia, 2011)^ **

22. (Jan. 21) /Sucker Punch/ {Extended Edition} (Zack Snyder, 2011)^ ***

21. (Jan. 20) /Beauty and the Beast/ {3D} (Gary Trousdale, Kirk Wise, 1991) ***

20. (Jan. 20) Underworld: Awakening (Måns Mårlind, Björn Stein, 2012) 1/2

19. (Jan. 19) /Miami Connection/ (Y.K. Kim, Woo-sang Park, 1987)^ ***

18. (Jan. 19) In a Better World (Susanne Bier, 2010)^ **

17. (Jan. 17) Incendies (Denis Villeneuve, 2010)^ ***

16. (Jan. 16) The Exterminating Angel (Luis Buñuel, 1962)^ ***

15. (Jan. 13) Carnage (Roman Polanski, 2011) ***

14. (Jan. 12) War Horse (Steven Spielberg, 2011) **1/2

13. (Jan. 12) Clueless (Amy Heckerling, 1995)^ *

12. (Jan. 11) Young Adult (Jason Reitman, 2011) ***

11. (Jan. 10) /Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace/ (George Lucas, 1999)^ **

10. (Jan. 10) The Crow (Alex Proyas, 1994)^ ***

9. (Jan. 10) Kicking and Screaming (Noah Baumbach, 1995)^ ***1/2

8. (Jan. 9) Awakenings (Penny Marshall, 1990)^ *1/2

7. (Jan. 8) Bugsy (Barry Levinson, 1991)^ *1/2

6. (Jan. 6) La Femme Nikita (Luc Besson, 1990)^ **1/2

5. (Jan. 5) /Midnight in Paris/ (Woody Allen, 2011) ***1/2

4. (Jan. 3) /Midnight in Paris/ (Woody Allen, 2011) ***1/2

3. (Jan. 2) Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (Guy Ritchie, 2011) *1/2

2. (Jan. 1) /Midnight in Paris/ (Woody Allen, 2011) ***1/2

1. (Jan. 1) 10 Things I Hate About You (Gil Junger, 1999)^ ***

OFCS Final Ballot Submission (& Winners)

In theory, I could plow through my remaining blind spots amongst these nominees between today and tomorrow, which would involve three back-to-back screeners, a purchased DVD and a bus trip to NYC, where the much-lauded A Separation opens tomorrow.

In reality, I'm going to stay home and enjoy myself at a leisurely pace so that I might be able to tax my body to unreasonable levels this New Year's weekend. Much as I kick myself for my blind spots, more often than not of late I tend to fall back on the thought that very few of my fellows have managed seen everything, too, and how many of them made a point to see In the Family? Exactly.

Nominees are listed below, my selections in bold italics, blind spots notated with asterisks. Bring on 2012.

UPDATE: January 2nd, 2012. Winners notated with ^.

Best Picture
    The Artist
    The Descendants
    Drive
    Hugo
    ^The Tree of Life

Best Animated Feature
    The Adventures of Tintin
    Arthur Christmas
    Kung Fu Panda 2
    ^Rango
    Winnie the Pooh

Best Director
    Michel Hazanavicius - The Artist
    ^Terrence Malick - The Tree of Life
    Nicolas Winding Refn - Drive
    Martin Scorsese - Hugo
    Lars von Trier - Melancholia

Best Actor
    George Clooney - The Descendants
    Jean Dujardin - The Artist
    ^Michael Fassbender - Shame
    Gary Oldman - Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
    Michael Shannon - Take Shelter

Best Actress
    Kirsten Dunst - Melancholia
    Elizabeth Olsen - Martha Marcy May Marlene
    *Meryl Streep - The Iron Lady
    ^Tilda Swinton - We Need to Talk About Kevin
    Michelle Williams - My Week with Marilyn

Best Supporting Actor
    Albert Brooks - Drive
    John Hawkes - Martha Marcy May Marlene
    Nick Nolte - Warrior
    Brad Pitt - The Tree of Life
    ^Christopher Plummer - Beginners

Best Supporting Actress
    ^Jessica Chastain - The Tree of Life
    Melissa McCarthy - Bridesmaids
    *Janet McTeer - Albert Nobbs
    Carey Mulligan - Shame
    Shailene Woodley - The Descendants

Best Original Screenplay
    Martha Marcy May Marlene
    ^Midnight in Paris
    *A Separation
    The Tree of Life
    Win Win

Best Adapted Screenplay
    The Descendants
    Drive
    Moneyball
    ^Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
    We Need to Talk About Kevin

Best Editing
    Drive
    Martha Marcy May Marlene
    Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
    ^The Tree of Life
    We Need to Talk About Kevin

Best Cinematography
    The Artist
    Drive
    Hugo
    Melancholia
    ^The Tree of Life

Best Film Not in the English Language
    13 Assassins
    Certified Copy
    ^*A Separation
    The Skin I Live In
    Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives

Best Documentary
    ^Cave of Forgotten Dreams
    The Interrupters
    *Into the Abyss
    Project Nim
    *Tabloid

OFCS Nominations Ballot & Top 10 of 2011 (Round One)

Going to keep this as brief as possible. I'd prefer to refrain from publishing any kind of year-end list until I'd seen enough movies to be satisfied that I'd taken in all the essentials. Unfortunately, given time, money, a GPS that dropped me off forty blocks away from my intended destination, and other circumstances, I've been unable to see the new film by Roman Polanski (Carnage), or David Cronenberg (A Dangerous Method), or the live-action half of Mr. Spielberg's Christmastime double header (War Horse), or several dozen others, and so, barring repeatedly devastating disappointments (given the at least 30 major blind spots I intend on seeing, this list could theoretically be replaced in its entirety), expect these titles to spread out a bit more in time.

Alas, we're within 19 hours of the Online Film Critics Society requiring my preliminary votes on this year's releases most deserving of recognition, so I may as well share some indication of my personal high points before the next election year gets underway. As with any good or great year at the movies, I could easily provide a top 30 and beyond, so impressive was the selection from the smallest of art house gems to the surprising intelligence lurking beneath several of Hollywood's tentpole attractions. A trend of the retro/nostalgic kind emerged, marked by the nods to cinema past provided courtesy of Hugo, The Artist, and Super 8, but more impressive was the sense that this year's great filmmakers were almost exclusively about reaching for the impossible, some of them having the audacity to find it along the way. In the canals of my mind - which have proven labyrinthine enough to continuously surprise myself, which is how I hope it always remains - such artistic growth and creative self-consciousness sees Terrence Malick and Michael Bay in the same room, I shit you not. And to think of how many discoveries yet await my hungry eyes.

Top 10, plus honorable mentions.


1. Certified Copy - An Everest-sized work of art from a long-standing master - as perfectly conceived, richly drawn and ravishingly enigmatic as any movie yet made. Ever. (Also, a great date movie.) If you don't think so, I have to wonder what exactly it is that you like about movies in the first place. Just sayin'.


2. Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives - Catfish cunnilingus and relatives reincarnated as glowing-eyed simians. "Well son, I hope you learned your lesson!" You had to be there, folks. But you should still watch this movie. And if you're a current Netflix subscriber, there's no excuse but poor taste. Hypnotic, mysterious, life-affirming, and somewhere between comfortably numb and seriously chill.


3. In the Family - I missed out on the nearly-as-impossible-to-see Margaret, but this sprawling indie masterpiece came along out of the blue at the exactly right time in my life to reconfirm my belief in a greater, guiding force. Call it God if you want. This, director Patrick Wang's directorial debut, is so wrenching an account of the human experience that I'm sure it's already in His personal collection.


4. Midnight in Paris - Woody Allen's enjoying life again, and the result is his most darling and deceptively rich film in years, if not decades. Seeing this with virgin eyes, completely unaware of any plot particulars before they unfolded in context, is among the greatest experiences I've had at the movies. Go in blind, and be gobsmacked into bliss.


5. The Tree of Life - Once again dividing the adventurists from the chickenshits, Terrence Malick's latest act of trailblazing audacity is sometimes less than perfect, but always more than the sum of its parts. He doesn't merely climb mountains: he builds them. Time and life experience will likely only prove this to be a greater film than I already consider it.


6. Beginners - I saw both this and my above #5 for the first time on the same day, back-to-back. I was doubtful at first: Movies this good don't happen so close together, do they? I couldn't be so lucky, could I? Yes, they do, and yes, I can. See it, and you'll feel more complete. (On a personal note, this and The Descendants, which I liked very much, have formed some kind of parent/child/mortal illness double feature in my mind for collectively paralleling my life in 2011 with an astonishing 90+% accuracy. The ways of the universe are mysterious indeed. I love you, Mom.)


7. Nostalgia for the Light - The documentary of the year connects the microcosmic with the cosmic, examining our roots in the sky and our remains in the ground underneath the most transparent window to the heavens on our planet. Spine-tingling stuff.


8. Take Shelter - If you have to be crazy to know that something terrible's a brewin' in these troubled times, then sanity is most definitely overrated, but perhaps it is the sanest among us who are also the ones who most stand out. As a prophetic man who hopes to protect his family from the coming storm, Michael Shannon deserves a long-overdue Oscar. He won't get it. He's too good for the gold.


9. Shame - The highest of the peaks in the year of Michael Fassbender, this rhythmic, fiercely clinical character study might be the best film about sex since Eyes Wide Shut. A meaningless NC-17 rating overlooks what is obvious to anyone who understands the nature of addiction: that this body, clearly assembled by a technician very close to God, goes beyond providing mere erotic displays and reveals the soul of an empowered junkie on the brink of soullessness. It hurts, so good.


10. Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Learning from his past missteps and thusly executing his latest with newfound poise, poetry and assurance, Michael Bay's second sequel about giant fighting robots (mother of invention, folks) rises above its junk food roots to claim the mount of the $200 million art house action movie, a mix of pop euphoria and uncompromising anti-political discourse. The answer lies somewhere between John Malkovich's head and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's lower extremities. (As per Douglas Adams, what's the question?) A thousand tin cans from Marvel studios kneel before Bay's devastating war machine.


Honorable Mentions: Attack the Block, Hugo, Source Code, Jane Eyre, Putty Hill, The Skin I Live In, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Meek's Cutoff, Le Havre, Cave of Forgotten Dreams

And some more good, even great films I can't justify not giving a mention: The Interrupters, Silent Souls, Warrior, Drive, 13 Assassins, Hobo With a Shotgun, The Descendants, Kinyarwanda, Moneyball, Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol, Melancholia, Rio, Black Death, J. Edgar, Fright Night, Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, Happy Feet Two, Bad Teacher, Kung Fu Panda 2, Rebirth, 50/50, The Eagle, The Strange Case of Angelica, American: The Bill Hicks Story, Bridesmaids, The Three Musketeers, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Arthur Christmas, Trigun: Badlands Rumble, Martha Marcy May Marlene, Horrible Bosses, Winnie the Pooh, Final Destination 5, Contagion, The Whale, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame, Of Gods and Men, Sucker Punch

Academy of the overrated: The Artist, The Help, Super 8, Project Nim, The Ides of March

Worst of the Year: Atlas Shrugged, Part I, We Need to Talk About Kevin, Cowboys & Aliens, 13, Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star, Thor, Cars 2, Jack and Jill, What on Earth?, Shark Night

And some additional recognitions and superlatives:

Best director: Abbas Kiarostami, Certified Copy
Best lead actor: Michael Shannon, Take Shelter
Best lead actress: Juliette Binoche, Certified Copy
Best supporting actor: Christoper Plummer, Beginners
Best supporting actress: Jessica Chastain, The Tree of Life
Best original screenplay: Certified Copy
Best adapted screenplay: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Best editing: Beginners
Best cinematography: Certified Copy
Best animated film: Happy Feet Two
Best opening credits: TIE, Final Destination 5 and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Best end credits: "99 Problems," Fright Night
Best semi-random line of dialogue: "CAT?!!," The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Best use of 3D: TIE, Cave of Forgotten Dreams and Hugo
Best superstar fuck you: Cameron Diaz, Bad Teacher
Best speech: TIE, Patrick Wang in In the Family and Rutger Hauer in Hobo With a Shotgun
Best reboot/sequel/prequel nobody expected to be remotely worthwhile: Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Best pure id projection: TIE, Transformers: Dark of the Moon and Sucker Punch
Best weepy guy movie: Warrior
Best documentary that cameos somebody I'm happy I'll be outliving: Rebirth
Best opening/closing shot bookends: The Descendants
Best prologue: Melancholia
Best canine: Cosmo, from Beginners
Best slow-motion action climax: Attack the Block
Best vampire: Jerry, as played by Colin Farrell in Fright Night
Best short movie dispersed throughout a feature length one: Rubber
Best short movie within a feature: The prologue to Melancholia
Best musical number: "Smells Like Teen Spirit," as performed in The Muppets
Best title: TIE, Cowboys & Aliens and Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Best unreleased film: Bagel'd

In the Family

Writer/director/actor Patrick Wang's background in theater and dramaturgy is on high display in his debut feature, In the Family, an acutely felt, altogether devastating family drama as intimate and affecting as it is sprawling and untamed. Nearly three hours in length, the film is characterized by carefully blocked, deeply focused scenes that unfold naturally, if perhaps uncomfortably, beholden only to life's often overlapping, conflicting, and overwhelming emotions.

Click here to read the rest at Slant Magazine.

3.29.59 - 11.3.11

The 25 Best Horror Films of the Aughts

If you haven't peeked at it already, now is a good time to head over to Slant for our recently published list of the last decade's scariest, or best, horror films. I voted for the list based on the former quality, although there would be only minor changes had I shifted my qualitative focus to the latter. I managed to hold on to a few blind spots on the final roster, and of course there are a few I'm sad to not see represented (see below). That said, it's still an admirable collection to these eyes (the only perfect lists are our own), not just because I like about 90% of what's on it, but more essentially because it makes me ask questions.

A good example would be that I didn't at all experience #20 as a horror film, but I've now been sufficiently convinced that I probably could. It also helps that I voted for another of that director's films, and really chewing on the matter, I sorta doubt he could ever make a film that was entirely without horror aspects. His latest will serve as a test that theory. (I'm talking, of course, about David Cronenberg.) Then there are some other great flicks that I would have liked to have seen considered, such as Red Eye and especially There Will Be Blood, which strikes a certain Gothic chord not unlike Dryer's Vampyr. But I'm rambling. It's a good list. Click the linked picture above.

My write-ups come in at numbers 19, 15 and 6, and on the point of the last one, I'm fully prepared to dig my heels in and fight to the death on its excellence. You shouldn't be surprised to know it came in at my top spot. Here's my top ten.

1. Halloween II (2009, Rob Zombie)
2. War of the Worlds (2005, Steven Spielberg)
3. Inland Empire (2006, David Lynch)
4. American Psycho (2000, Mary Harron)
5. Wolf Creek (2004, Greg McLean)
6. 28 Weeks Later (2007, Juan Carlos Fresnadillo)
7. Audition (1999/2000, Takashi Miike)
8. The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009, Tom Six)
9. Pulse (2001, Kiyoshi Kurosawa)
10. 28 Days Later… (2002, Danny Boyle)

Attack of the B Movie!

Here we are again. Four Octobers ago, I bit off far more than I realized needed chewing when I decided to dedicate the month to reviewing one zombie movie per day, and I'm still not quite sure how I pulled it off. This year, I've finally gotten my act together enough to attempt something similar for the Halloween season, and this time, I've done a bit more in the way of prep work before the month actually began. Here goes... something.

Since a youth largely obsessed with anything and everything aired on the Sci-Fi Channel (as it ought to still be spelled), the 1950s have been a favorite period of mine for the genre, and it is my hope to gain an even deeper appreciation for it over the next 31 days. Already I've discovered several treasures I'd never before even heard of (expect much love for Richard and Alex Gordon along the way), and had a change of heart for one movie that struck me as impossibly lame when I first watched it. With any luck, this will help win over some new fans of these frequently overlooked works, which, even at their most unpolished and MST3K worthy, strike me as a kind of beautiful art.

I realize the title of this marathon is a misnomer, as many of these movies had rather substantial budgets and don't quite fit into the B movie category. Too bad. I liked the title enough to stick with it, and hey, The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms comes from the ice of the Arctic, not the ocean, so if you're going to split hairs, have at it. If you want the best resource on this topic, look no further than Bill Warren's exhaustively researched book "Keep Watching the Skies!" My efforts will be considerably less comprehensive, but I expect they'll be a blast all the same.
































Day 1: The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms
Day 2: I Married a Monster from Outer Space
Day 3: Them!
Day 4: The War of the Worlds
Day 5: Plan 9 from Outer Space / Bride of the Monster / Night of the Ghouls
Day 6: The Blob
Day 7: Teenagers from Outer Space
Day 8: The Manster
Day 9: When Worlds Collide
Day 10: Gojira / Godzilla Raids Again / Godzilla, King of the Monsters! 
Day 11: Forbidden Planet
Day 12: The Atomic Submarine
Day 13: The Thing from Another World
Day 14: Fiend Without a Face
Day 15: Creature from the Black Lagoon, Revenge of the Creature and The Creature Walks Among Us
Day 16: The Day the Earth Stood Still
Day 17: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
Day 18: Attack of the 50 Foot Woman
Day 19: 20 Million Miles to Earth
Day 20: The Fly / Tarantula, The Wasp Woman 
Day 21: Invaders from Mars
Day 22: The Monolith Monsters 
Day 23 & 24: Attack of the Giant Leeches, Attack of the Crab Monsters
Day 25 (Supernova B Movie Explosion): Gog, The Beast of Hollow Mountain, Rodan, The Amazing Colossal Man, War of the Colossal Beast, The Brain Eaters, The Alligator People, The Giant Behemoth, The Giant Gila Monster, The Killer Shrews
Day 26: The Incredible Shrinking Man 
Day 27: Red Planet Mars
Day 28: Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Day 29: This Island Earth
Day 30: It Came from Outer Space / It Came from Beneath the Sea / It! The Terror from Beyond Space
*Day 31: Robot Monster

And now that we're done with all of that...superlatives! But first, the question of legacy. The genre of 1950s monster movies (and all sci-fi/horror and the like) is by no means bound by the years of 1950 through 1959. These five are among those that carry on the torch, and all but one gets the official P'Booth stamp of excellence (Mars Attacks! gets the benefit of the doubt for now on account of my having not seen it in a decade).

In some attempt at order of quality, i.e. my opinion.

1. Mission to Mars


2. Gremlins 2: The New Batch


3. Tremors


4. Killer Klowns from Outer Space


5. Mars Attacks!


The there's the question of remakes, something on which I have strong opinions. Here's the deal: plenty of remakes are terrible, but that's no reason to refuse acknowledgement of the fact that plenty of them are good, even great. In fact, you probably like a lot of remakes without knowing it. The Frankenstein most everyone knows is in fact the third filming of that story. And The Wizard of Oz with Judy Garland was by no means the first. This genre has afforded plenty, some of which are superior to their predecessors. (On the basis of it not being a "formal" remake, I've disincluded Alien from this roster, but the real reason is because I refuse to choose a favorite between Ridley Scott's film and John Carpenter's of a very similar nature, in both quality and ass-kicking quality.) There are other worthwhile remakes amongst these (for example, there remains something to be said on the casting choice of Keanu Reeves as an alien), but these are the top contenders.

1. The Fly (1986)


2. The Thing (1982)


3. War of the Worlds (2005)


4. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) and Body Snatchers (1993)
[Embedding conveniently disabled on both]

5. The Blob (1988)


And now, the superlatives.

Best title shot: The Thing from Another World

Best opening credits/theme song: The Blob


Best eventual use in a music video: Attack of the 50 Foot Woman


Best robot: Gort


Best monster: The Blob


Best robot monster & best line of dialogue: Ro-Man, self-explanatory


Best monster in a terrible movie: The Ymir, 20 Million Miles to Earth


Best monster in an okay movie: The Gill-Man, Creature from the Black Lagoon


Best opening shot & scariest alien: It Came from Outer Space

Best opening monologue: Plan 9 from Outer Space


Best monster that's actually real: The giant squid, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, at about the 1:00 mark.


Best animal & best death: The Rhedosaurus enjoys a snack, The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms


Best mineral: The Monolith Monsters


Best vegetable: The Thing

Best monster you don't actually see: The id monster, Forbidden Planet

Most Kubrickian scene: It! The Terror From Beyond Space. This clip is nowhere to be found. Just rent the sucker on iTunes. It's a dollar.


Most Lynchian scene & best musical score: The Atomic Submarine


Best resultant episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000: War of the Colossal Beast


Best movie poster & least convincing monsters: The Killer Shrews; best movie I didn't have time to review: First Man Into Space


And finally, a top ten, which may or may not include only ten titles, and may or may not correlate with star ratings, for what it's worth.

1. The Day the Earth Stood Still
2. Robot Monster
3. The Atomic Submarine (plus Fiend Without a Face and First Man Into Space, by the transitive property of the brothers Gordon)
4. Godzilla
5. It Came from Outer Space
6. Invasion of the Body Snatchers
7. Forbidden Planet
8. The Blob
9. The Monolith Monsters
10. Attack of the 50 Foot Woman and Plan 9 from Outer Space (c'mon, they're two sides of the same coin)

That's all, folks!

*Okay, yes, I didn't write something up on this one for this month, and instead subbed an old capsule review. If you knew what my month consisted of besides this self-induced marathon (much as I enjoyed it...wow, how did I ever find the time), particularly this past week and today specifically, you'd be happy I took a break, too. The next time I write about this movie, I want to write the Bible on it, and I just don't have it in me now. Good night. Good luck. The end.