Freebie Flicks: Oscar Edition

Apologies for the sparse updates these past few weeks; while I've been busy at work on the blog, it's been less in the way of new content than on the exhaustive effort required to properly format and organize almost seven years' worth of material, plenty to bite off and slow to chew. In exchange for my absence, I offer five Best Picture winners* currently available on YouTube. (KeepVid dot com will allow you to download most of these in HD.)


*Named such in the obsolete category "Unique and Artistic Production," which I'm exploiting here because this remains arguably the greatest film to ever win either award.

Gangster Squad (2013): C-

Normally, I'm a sucker for alternate versions, extended editions, and director's cuts of films, as the differences between such versions often illustrate the role even seemingly minor editorial choices play in affecting the overall quality or nature of a film (case in point: the qualitative divide that but a few changes wrought on the unrated cut of the criminally misunderstood Miami Vice). Gangster Squad, however, is so viscerally lethargic and emotionally vacuous that I've no interest in seeing the inevitable "unaltered" cut featuring the movie theater shootout that was promptly excised and worked around after the unspeakable bloodshed at the Aurora shooting some six weeks before the film was originally slated for release. When it comes to cinematic depictions of violence, there are few examples that prompt my personal concern over the effect had on their intended audience, and while the cops 'n robbers shoot 'em up relentlessness of Gangster Squad never struck me as evil, the superficial characterizations and morose plotting that abound effectively rob the spent bullets and dead bodies of even the fleeting substance of genre thrills. Director Ruben Fleischer (of Zombieland) crafts many a beautiful surfaces and seemingly knows how to cast a film for maximum archetypal flair, but amidst the lesser-of-two-evils tale of rogue cops going out on a limb to take down gangster Mickey Cohen (Sean Penn, essentially a more boring version of Robert De Niro to this film's The Untouchables), virtually everything is a surface, all style and pose devoid of soul. That the aforementioned movie theater sequence was excised is telling not so much of the film's wanting creativity, but of the culture and values it caters to, and ultimately reinforces, astutely summarized by Slant Magazine's Glenn Heath, Jr.: "Unsettling cinematic images can be notoriously excessive as long as they don't echo real-life tragedy, or even vaguely reference whatever atrocity the paying public has on their minds during the latest news cycle." Gangster Squad wouldn't necessarily be a better film for it, but it'd be a more honest one, as lip service to fallen heroes is among the lighter of this film's numerous artistic and entertainment offenses.

The Last Stand (2013): B+

With apologies to the frequently hilarious but flawed True Lies, The Last Stand might be the best genuine (as opposed to accidental) action/comedy Arnold Schwarzenegger has ever starred in, and rest assured that this excellent B-movie's quick disappearance from multiplexes stands as an indication of both the cultural taste at large as well as what I'd describe as an acute rejection of implicit criticism of American society and values (one that could easily become anti-Americanism if viewed through the warped lens of seemingly every successful conservative talking head), even though it - like the lovingly scabrous view of life on The Simpsons - ultimately embraces it in the end. "You make us immigrants look bad," quips Ahnuld, astonishingly sans irony (it was a stroke of brilliance to cast Johnny Knoxville, who allows the visibly aging star to work as both straight man and not a cybernetic infiltrator), casting into stark relief so many of the disingenuous (or simply stupid) arguments surrounding the national discussion (if we can even call it that much) on gun violence, immigration, crime, and our larger values. With a slow-burning swiftness that's worthy of Carpenter, The Last Stand moves its pieces into place, owning its genre trappings with a zeal that borders on genius (the telephone pole gag might be tops) and never commenting on the aforementioned issues so much as implicitly illuminating them. A drug kingpin (Eduardo Noriega, doing better since Vantage Point) is fleeing the feds (Forest Whitaker, not so convincing as an asshole), his minions (led by Peter Stormare, who also stars in that thing that's eating up the box office as I write this) building a makeshift bridge to Mexico just outside the town of Sommerton Junction, where retired narcotics officer Ray Owen (Schwarzenegger) is playing sheriff. Arnold's a strange guy, and I feel alternately bad for and angry at him for the mistakes he's made, but I'm forever indebted to him for his contributions to the screen (well, some of them; I haven't seen Junior, for instance), something that surely informs the joy I experience seeing him here. The cast entire is impeccable, occasionally taking things to the meta (I'd probably love this movie if only for the sight of Luis Guzman charging down a street with a drum clip-enabled automatic blazing), and if the sequences removed from Sommerton held a little more presence than their merely expositional duties require, I'd be less hesitant to call The Last Stand anything less than great.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013): D

The opening credits of Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters feel like a miniature film unto themselves, and one all too indicative of the movie proper to follow: over-the-top straight out of the gate to the point of hilarity (the action mold satirized in the opening scenes of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie come to ridiculous life), only to swiftly succumb to nauseating bombast and violence-fetishizing slow motion that makes Zack Snyder's 300 look subtle by comparison. A pity that the cheeky talent writer-director Tommy Wirkola brought to his slight but enjoyable Dead Snow fizzles here, that film's wry self-deprecation lost amidst Hansel & Gretel's meaningless sound and fury, the occasional successful sight gag and sardonic touch rendered moot amidst so much weightless chaos, transparent attempts at characterization (Peter Stormare in particular seems contemptuous of the material, while a sympathetic Troll named Edward feels like a gutless swing at the Twilight franchise) and cheap anti-establishment posturing. As the titular orphan who, with his sister (Gemma Arterton, still treading water with her fond memories in RocknRolla), defeated a witch as a child, Jeremy Renner brings enough charisma to sporadically cut through the nihilism and suggest the fun that might be had if the film weren't catering to so desensitized a crowd ("But, these go to eleven," you can almost hear the studio heads saying). The many roaring snake-like witches are killed en mass in dispassionately bloody fashion, and one's heart sinks at the thought that talking heads like Michael Savage might have a legitimate point amidst their frothing at the mouth about Hollywood's corruption (although their xenophobic and emotionally paralyzed viewpoints are mostly fubar; my point being that mindless bloodlust is one thing, depictions of evil are another). That this film managed to take the box office during its opening weekend while a genuinely witty genre piece like Jee-woon Kim's The Last Stand flounders says enough about the dual power of a hefty advertising budget and bad taste in our American marketplace. It would be different if Hansel & Gretel were only stupid; that it's also boring is unforgivable.

Freebie Flicks: College (1927)

Because it fits my mood today, particularly the final thirty seconds. And don't be a moron and just watch the final thirty seconds if you haven't seen the movie before. KeepVid dot com for the download.

2013 Oscar Predictions

To be updated as the weeks progress and blind spots are caught up on. Locked.

Best Picture: Amour, Argo, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Django Unchained, Les Misérables, Life of Pi, Lincoln, Silver Linings Playbook, Zero Dark Thirty

Will win: Argo
Could win: Lincoln
Should win: Lincoln

Best Director: Michael Haneke, Amour; Ang Lee, Life of Pi; David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook; Steven Spielberg, Lincoln; Behn Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild

Will win: Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Could win: Michael Haneke, Amour
Should win: Steven Spielberg, Lincoln

Best Actor in a Leading Role: Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook; Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln; Hugh Jackman, Les Misérables; Joaquin Phoenix, The Master; Denzel Washington, Flight

Will win: Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Could win: Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Should win: Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln or Joaquin Phoenix, The Master

Best Actress in a Leading Role: Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty; Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook; Emmanuelle Riva, Amour; Quvenzhané Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild; Naomi Watts, The Impossible

Will win: Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Could win: Emmanuelle Riva, Amour
Should win: Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty or Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook

Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Alan Arkin, Argo; Robert De Niro, Silver Linings Playbook; Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master; Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln; Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained

Will win: Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
Could win: Robert De Niro, Silver Linings Playbook
Should win: Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln or Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained

Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Amy Adams, The Master; Sally Field, Lincoln; Anne Hathaway, Les Misérables; Helen Hunt, The Sessions; Jacki Weaver, Silver Linings Playbook

Will win: Anne Hathaway, Les Misérables
Could win: Sally Field, Lincoln
Should win: Sally Field, Lincoln

Best Original Screenplay: Michael Haneke, Amour; Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained; John Gatins, Flight; Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola, Moonrise Kingdom; Mark Boal, Zero Dark Thirty

Will win: Michael Haneke, Amour
Could win: Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained
Should win: Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained or Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola, Moonrise Kingdom

Best Adapted Screenplay: Chris Terrio, Argo; Lucy Alibar and Behn Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild; David Magee, Life of Pi; Tony Kushner, Lincoln; David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook

Will win: Tony Kushner, Lincoln
Could win: Tony Kushner, Lincoln
Should win: Tony Kushner, Lincoln

Best Animated Feature: Brave, Frankenweenie, ParaNorman, The Pirates! Band of Misfits, Wreck-It Ralph

Will win: Wreck-It Ralph
Could win: Frankenweenie
Should win: ParaNorman

Best Foreign Language Film: Amour, Kon-Tiki, No, A Royal Affair, War Witch

Will win: Amour
Could win: Amour
Should win: ?


Best Documentary Feature: Five Broken Cameras, The Gatekeepers, How to Survive a Plague, The Invisible War, Searching for Sugar Man

Will win: Searching for Sugar Man
Could win: The Invisible War
Should win: Five Broken Cameras

Best Documentary (Short Subject): Inocente, Kings Point, Mondays at Racine, Open Heart, Redemption

Will win: Open Heart
Could win: Something else
Should win: ?

Best Live Action Short Film: Asad, Buzkashi Boys, Curfew, Death of a Shadow, Henry

Will win: Curfew
Could win: Ditto the above
Should win: ?

Best Animated Short Film: Adam and Dog, Fresh Guacamole, Head over Heels, The Longest Daycare, Paperman

Will win: Head Over Heels
Could win: Adam and Dog
Should win: Adam and Dog

Best Original Score: Dario Marianelli, Anna Karenina; Alexandre Desplat, Argo; Mychael Danna, Life of Pi; John Williams, Lincoln; Thomas Newman, Skyfall

Will win: Alexandre Desplat, Argo
Could win: John Williams, Lincoln
Should win: Thomas Newman, Skyfall

Best Original Song: "Before My Time" from Chasing Ice, J. Ralph; "Everybody Needs a Friend" from Ted, Walter Murphy and Seth MacFarlane; "Pi' Lullaby" from Life of Pi, Mychael Danna and Bombay Jayashri; "Skyfall" from Skyfall, Adele Adkins and Paul Epworth; "Suddenly" from Les Misérables, Claude-Michel Schönberg, Herbert Kretzmer, and Alain Boublil

Will win: "Skyfall,"
Could win: "Skyfall"
Should win: "Skyfall"

Best Sound Editing: Argo, Erik Aadahl and Ethan Van der Ryn; Django Unchained, Wylie Stateman; Life of Pi, Eugene Gearty and Philip Stockton; Skyfall, Per Hallberg and Karen Baker Landers; Zero Dark Thirty, Paul N. J. Ottosso

Will win: Skyfall
Could win: Zero Dark Thirty
Should win: Skyfall

Best Sound Mixing: Argo, John Reitz, Gregg Rudloff, and Jose Antonio Garcia; Les Misérables, Andy Nelson, Mark Paterson, and Simon Hayes; Life of Pi, Ron Bartlett, D. M. Hemphill, and Drew Kunin; Lincoln, Andy Nelson, Gary Rydstrom, and Ronald Judkins; Skyfall, Scott Millan, Greg P. Russell, and Stuart Wilson

Will win: Life of Pi
Could win: Les Misérables
Should win: Life of Pi

Best Production Design (formerly Art Direction): Anna Karenina, Sarah Greenwood and Katie Spencer; The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Dan Hennah, Ra Vincent, and Simon Bright; Les Misérables, Eve Stewart and Anna Lynch-Robinson; Life of Pi, David Gropman and Anna Pinnock; Lincoln, Rick Carter and Jim Erickson

Will win: Anna Karenina
Could win: Les Misérables
Should win: Lincoln

Best Cinematography: Anna Karenina, Seamus McGarvey; Django Unchained, Robert Richardson; Life of Pi, Claudio Miranda; Lincoln, Janusz Kamiński; Skyfall, Roger Deakins

Will win: Life of Pi
Could win:  Skyfall
Should win: Lincoln or Django Unchained

Best Makeup and Hairstyling: Hitchcock, Howard Berger, Peter Montagna, and Martin Samuel; The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Peter Swords King, Rick Findlater, and Tami Lane; Les Misérables, Lisa Westcott and Julie Dartnell

Will win: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Could win: Les Misérables
Should win: Les Misérables

Best Costume Design: Anna Karenina, Jacqueline Durran; Les Misérables, Paco Delgado; Lincoln, Joanna Johnston; Mirror Mirror, Eiko Ishioka; Snow White and the Huntsman, Colleen Atwood

Will win: Anna Karenina
Could win: Mirror Mirror
Should win: Lincoln

Best Film Editing: Argo, William Goldenberg; Life of Pi, Tim Squyres; Lincoln, Michael Kahn; Silver Linings Playbook, Jay Cassidy and Crispin Struthers; Zero Dark Thirty, Dylan Tichenor and William Goldenberg

Will win: Argo
Could win: Lincoln
Should win: Lincoln or Zero Dark Thirty

Best Visual Effects: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Joe Letteri, Eric Saindon, David Clayton, and R. Christopher White; Life of Pi, Bill Westenhofer, Guillaume Rocheron, Erik-Jan De Boer, and Donald R. Elliott; The Avengers, Janek Sirrs, Jeff White, Guy Williams, and Dan Sudick; Prometheus, Richard Stammers, Trevor Wood, Charley Henley, and Martin Hill; Snow White and the Huntsman, Cedric Nicolas-Troyan, Philip Brennan, Neil Corbould, and Michael Dawson

Will win: Life of Pi
Could win: Prometheus
Should win: Prometheus

Welcome to the Machine

Weider doesn't explicitly articulate his own opinions on technological possibilities, and as a father clearly in love with his children every arduous step of the way, his position is most likely—and understandably—a biased one. But that doesn't prevent him from purporting something genuinely fair and balanced in his assembled dialogue of recounted experiences and stated philosophies from self-described technophiles and medical-advancement beneficiaries, as well as personal letters from and segments of the murderous Unabomber Kaczynski's manifesto.

Click here to read the rest at Slant Magazine.