Apr 8, 2012
Safe House (2012): C-
AKA Shit Smear, because that's what one takes away from the shapelessly herky-jerky visuals of this cops-n-crooks thriller that repackages post-9/11 corruption realities as a nihilistic happy meal posing as enlightenment. As for the accompanying toy, it's anyone's guess: this is about as sloppy, unimaginative and viscerally underwhelming as a big budget movie can appear without actively insulting the target audience. There was a moment when a door was blown off its hinges, which I guess was cool; at the least, it stood out from the murky mayhem. The majority of the
action scenes are splintered to death via subpar Bourne-aping cinematography and editing, and the enterprise has the audacity to waste Vera Farminga's prismatic face and energy. Denzel Washington, milking his assuredly wise schtick within an inch of its life, is the criminal mastermind with lotsa stuff up his sleeves; Ryan Reynolds the mental tenderfoot assigned to protect and who has to learn quickly how to play by the top dog's rules. Cheap-looking and without sensation. You'll feel bad in the morning for having spent time with it.